Things to do when you're
stuck in an elevator!!!
-
Ask people on the elevator
if they've seen the first part of the movie Speed.
-
Push all the floor
buttons. At every floor, get out, look around, mutter, "Looks okay so far,"
and get back in.
-
Put notices in the
elevators that read "Last Inspection: Passed. Next Inspection Due: Jan
87"
-
Use physics to determine
how fast the elevator will be going if it free-falls from the top floor.
-
Countdown "5...4...3...2...1"
and then suddenly duck.
-
Get on the elevator
at the top floor and ask, "Going down?"
-
Keep muttering, "I
hope it doesn't happen again..."
-
Have a friend with
you, but act like he's a complete stranger. After a while, turn to him
and say, "Wanna trade?" Then promptly trade wallets.
-
Replace the 3 on the
third floor button with the Greek letter pi.
-
Put on a crash helnet,
and take one of those mini-trampolines into an elevator. Stand on the trampoline,
then say to a friend holding the emergency phone, "Ok, Dave, I'm ready.
Let 'er RIP!" (This doesn't quite make sense, but hey, you can't have everything.)
-
Grimace painfully while
smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just
shut UP!"
-
Stand silent and motionless
in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
-
When arriving at your
floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when
they open by themselves.
-
Greet everyone getting
on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
-
Bet the other passengers
you can fit a quarter in your nose.
-
Listen to the elevator
walls with a stethoscope.
-
Announce in a demonic
voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
-
Wear "X-Ray Specs"
and leer suggestively at other passengers.
-
Crack open your briefcase
or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
-
Enter the elevator
with a friend and have your friend say "I'll take your case but why'd you
shoot the guy?" Respond with, "'Cause he kept lookin' at the back of my
head." (From AC Salzer)
-
Put on a ski mask,
tap the shoulder of the guy in front of you, and politely ask, "Hiya! Do
you know how to unjam a pistol?" (From Ricky J. Sutton)
-
Enter a medical building
with a friend. Get him to ask you, "So what did he say?", then cough, and
answer "It's definitely contagious." (From Joseph Slotkowski)
Foul
Language ******
Elevator
Humor ****
The
Psychic Frog *****
Tech
Support Humor ******
30
HARSH THINGS A WOMAN CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN ******
Memorable
Interviews ***
Tech
Supports Stories 2 ******
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